I'm not tryna ruin your fun,
you're just a little bit late,
the wipe is already done
and I couldn't use Gentoo
'cause I'm too dumb
might shill openBSD
it's really possible?

If you see use Ubuntu, I might say "Hi",
but if you meet me running Arch, I'm a talkative guy
I've been tryna fix my audio and solid state drive
and I get a little closer every line I write

All these newgen Linux posers filling up my feed
They love proprietary software and KDE
and the AUR maintainers' tryna infect me
Gotta verify my age with systemD...

Next day, I wanna play games
but what would Stallman think?
That it's no longer the same
and I need snaps, paks and Wayland,
that won't run anyway
on my librebooted thinkpad
turning glowies away

If you see use Ubuntu, I might say "Hi",
but if you meet me running Arch, I'm a talkative guy
I've been tryna fix my audio and solid state drive
and I get a little closer every line I write

All these newgen Linux posers filling up my feed
They love proprietary software and KDE
and the AUR maintainers' tryna infect me
Gotta verify my age with systemD...

Normies tryna make me use Nix
they don't know I like Artix
And now they're tryna kill X
I can't imagine what's next...
They're changing C for Rust
what happened to all the trust?
And in the news all I see's
AI vulnerabilities

The bloat is hard to assess
It all just feels like a mess
thank gosh we still got Suckless
but don't ask me to run Alpine
'cause there's no GNU
At least we still got Void
and Guix, Parabola too

If you see use Ubuntu, I might say "Hi",
but if you meet me running Arch, I'm a talkative guy
I've been tryna fix my audio and solid state drive
and I get a little closer every line I write

All these newgen Linux posers filling up my feed
They love proprietary software and KDE
and the AUR maintainers' tryna infect me
Gotta verify my age with systemD...