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05/05/2026
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I feel split, but I keep it to myself, I'm so tired of my own vulnerability and delusions.from childhood, I was shamed for simply existing by my mother, her lover, and those around me at school. boys who considered me "not one of them," girls who liked to giggle at fragile. a close person, it seems to me that he chose from what was slightly better than the worst, because I am a bad person. from a young age, I often made up stories and then passed them off as truth to avoid conflicts or, on the contrary, to get approval, it seemed like I could protect myself this way, but now I have a constant feeling of shame that haunts me to this day. I struggle with internal shame and I want to believe that it will pass and self-neediness will come, I don’t need myself, I only need methods to satisfy my needs because I am a human and it makes me feel miserable. I know you broke up, but I think you were perfect for each other, she is interesting, promising, beautiful and you are very caring and good, so me? crooked androgynous face and constant self-hatred. I want to fix it, but I want to get away from everyone because I feel vulnerable with my close ones.
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sorry for being pathetic, I promise I will manage it but the emptiness won't go away Показать больше
05/05/2026
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I feel split, but I keep it to myself, I'm so tired of my own vulnerability and delusions.from childhood, I was shamed for simply existing by my mother, her lover, and those around me at school. boys who considered me "not one of them," girls who liked to giggle at fragile. a close person, it seems to me that he chose from what was slightly better than the worst, because I am a bad person. from a young age, I often made up stories and then passed them off as truth to avoid conflicts or, on the contrary, to get approval, it seemed like I could protect myself this way, but now I have a constant feeling of shame that haunts me to this day. I struggle with internal shame and I want to believe that it will pass and self-neediness will come, I don’t need myself, I only need methods to satisfy my needs because I am a human and it makes me feel miserable. I know you broke up, but I think you were perfect for each other, she is interesting, promising, beautiful and you are very caring and good, so me? crooked androgynous face and constant self-hatred. I want to fix it, but I want to get away from everyone because I feel vulnerable with my close ones.
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sorry for being pathetic, I promise I will manage it but the emptiness won't go away Показать больше
